Rebuilding Memories
by LGilbert1982
Summary: After the curse is lifted toward the end of book four, Eric can not remember anything that happened during his stay with Sookie and Sookie is devastated. What would have happened if she had been unable to hide her emotions? This is my version! ONE-SHOT!


**Disclosure:** All references to the Southern Vampires Mysteries, the Sookie Stackhouse series, True Blood, and all its characters belong to Charlaine Harris and/or Alan Ball. I own nothing.

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Chapter One: Memory Loss**

I was trying to beat back the grief at the realization that I would only have a few more hours with Eric before we had to meet with Pam and the others to complete the ritual to restore Eric's memories. I knew deep down that there was no way the true Eric would love me the way this amnesiac Eric did. No matter how much I wished it to be so. I was being realistic. There would be no more Eric and Sookie after his memory was restored.

I sat in a daze, waiting for first dark. I would make the few hours we had left worth while. No matter how much it would hurt later, I had to have some form of closer before this relationship had to end. The minutes felt like decades and I found myself wondering how vampires could stand long silences so well. I would have thought their patience would wear thin quicker.

As darkness fell, I made my way to my spare bedroom, eager to greet Eric as he arose. I would offer him my blood and my body one last time before we headed to Fangtasia. Needless to say I was shocked when I opened the door and saw Eric standing in the middle of the room looking around in confusion. As I entered, he whirled around with a hiss, his fangs bared menacingly.

"Eric?" I asked tentatively. I had to stop myself from calling him honey.

He stood from his crouch and looked at me in confusion, "Sookie? Am I in your house?"

I felt the bottom fall out of my world. I tried to reign in my emotions, knowing he would feel them. I kept a straight face as I spoke, "Yes, Eric. Do you not remember?"

He shook his head, confused, "The last thing I remember is talking to that witch. What happened? Why am I here?"

It took a lot of restraint to keep a straight face. I was afraid that at any moment I would break out in tears. He did not remember anything of our time together. None of the love, none of the sex, none of the promises – he did not remember any of it. My jaw was tight as I answered, "The witch placed a curse on you, and you have had amnesia for the last nine days. You were staying here so she could not find you. We all took out the coven last night and I thought we were going to meet up with Pam today to remove the curse, but I guess they removed it last night. Do you really not remember anything that has happened while under the curse?"

Eric studied me closely for a moment, thinking hard, and obviously monitoring my emotions. Finally, he shook his head slowly, "No. Not a thing."

I lowered my head in an attempt to hide the pain in my eyes and swallowed back the sob that threatened to make its way from my throat. The last thing I wanted was for this true Eric to see what kind of power he had over me. Unfortunately, he did not need to see my face to know the disappointment and grief that was slowly engulfing me.

"Sookie," Eric asked gently, "did we? Did we have sex?"

That was it. The last bit of my resolve crumbled. The despair overtook me. It was like a big gaping hole had been ripped into my chest where my heart should have been. I saw a flash of surprise and concern cross Eric's face as I looked up at him again. I was certain my former blank face now showed every bit of pain he knew I was feeling. As I felt the first few tears streak down my cheeks, I could not hold back the sobs anymore.

My knees gave out and I would have hit the floor if Eric and his vampire speed had not caught me in time. I flinched in surprise as his arms came around me and he gasped, "Sookie?" his voice was pained, almost pleading, "Please tell me that I…I did not hurt you did I?"

I looked up at his gorgeous face through watery eyes. His concern surprised me and a part of me hoped that maybe this Eric really could love me some day. I gave him a pained smile and shook my head. I laid my head on his shoulder and I felt him relax slightly in relief. As he was unsure why I was so upset, he was still tense, but the difference was visible compared to thinking he might have caused my pain directly.

"Sookie, what's wrong? What happened?" he coaxed.

I felt Eric's fingers begin to card through my hair in an attempt to comfort me and I allowed myself to give in. I clung to him like a lifeline, my fingers making fists in his shirt, and my sobs buried into his chest. I knew I would be embarrassed when I had to explain myself, but I could not seem to care at the moment. I only wanted _my_ Eric back. I was grieving and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

When my sobs began to slow, Eric lifted me gently and he carried me across the hall to my bedroom. He positioned himself against the headboard and held me in his lap. I felt him take two deep breathes and then smile against my head, but he did not speak yet. He just continued to hold me close and run his fingers through my hair.

I finally gained control over my emotions. While the imagined hole in my chest continued to throb and the rest of my body felt numb, my tears stopped and I pulled away with a blush. Eric hesitated to let me go, but eventually allowed me to slide to the bed beside him. He maintained a grip on my hand, running his thumb across it in comforting circles.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I should not have broken down like that. I do not know what came over me." I swallowed against the lump that was threatening to reform in my throat.

"Do not be afraid or ashamed to show your emotions in front of me. I already know how you feel, anyway." Eric chided gently.

I chuckled uneasily, "True."

Eric sighed, "Now will you explain why you are so upset? Does it have anything to do with why this room smells so strongly of you, me, and sex?"

I pulled away from him in shock, settling cross legged on the other side of the bed so I could face him. I knew my face was red with embarrassment as I looked at him wide eyed. "You can smell that?"

Eric smirked, "Of course," he drawled.

I looked at my hands in embarrassment, "I knew I should have changed the sheets."

He laughed loudly, "That might have helped, but it is too late now."

I scowled and mumbled under my breath, "Stupid vampire senses…would have just smelled it in any other room anyway." Of course, then I blushed deeply as I realized he would have heard that.

I chanced a peek at him and his were wide with shock. He schooled his face after a second, and smirked, "So we really did have sex then?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded. He was grinning widely, but then seemed to think of something. He scowled deeply, "Surely this is not the reason why you were so upset?"

I grimaced, "Of course not, Eric." I sighed deeply, "Not to inflate your already overly large ego, but it was wonderful. I do not regret having sex with you. I…I just…" I let out a frustrated groan as I felt a few silent tears roll down my cheek, "Why did you have to forget?"

I hung my head heavily, "There is no easy way to explain the significance of everything that was said and done, no easy way to explain why it was so easy to be with that Eric while I have always rejected you, and it is impossible to make you understand the love we developed for each other."

I met his shocked and skeptical eyes, "I am no fool. I knew the moment you got your memory back it would all be over. I knew every emotion you revealed, every promise you made, was nothing more than a medieval fantasy that would soon end. There is no way you could ever love me the way _that_ Eric did. I knew this the whole time, but it does not stop me from grieving its loss."

Eric regarded me levelly, deep in thought. After a moment, he repositioned himself so that he was cross legged on the bed directly in front of me. He took my hands in his and gave them a gentle squeeze. "I wish I did remember," he stated sincerely. "However, I do not understand why it has to be over." He cupped my cheek gently, "You know I want you to be mine."

I scowled at him, "That is why - all this vampire possessiveness. I will never be more than a possession to you – a trophy won. As a human I will always be considered a lower being to you. I need someone who will treat me his equal, who will take my thoughts and ideas seriously, and who will love me as much as I love him. I can not deal with the knowledge that you will probably lose interest in a few years, that if we argue you might literally rip my head off, and that your political career will always be more important than I am." I sighed and looked at my hands clasped in his, "Most of all, I do not only want to be yours, I want you to be mine."

Eric placed his hand under my chin and forced me to look at him, "I do not understand how you could ever think I would rip your head off when I am angry with you. I have been angry with you many times and I have never physically hurt you. The very idea of doing so bothers me, so I would never do so intentionally. Additionally, how can you doubt that I take your ideas seriously and that I would not place you above my political career? I have based business dealings around ideas you have had in the past, and I have put my political position in jeopardy several times to insure your safety. Could you honestly not see that?"

I broke eye contact with him and tried to pull away. He tightened his grip slightly, "Listen to me, Sookie. I could never consider you a possession. When I say I want you to be mine, I mean in that I am your only lover. Other vampires would have to think of you as my possession for your safety, but I could never consider you as such. You are much too strong willed and independent for me to ever consider you as a possession. I would not want you any other way really. It is the main thing that sets you apart from all the fangbangers that flock to the club every day. As far as treating you as an equal, I do want to. It is difficult for me since I have been a vampire for a thousand years, but I will definitely try if you let me."

"You are so much more than just a human woman, Sookie, and I really do not see myself getting enough of you any time soon. I can not guarantee that I will love you, I am not sure if I am capable of such an emotion, but you can not get that guarantee from every human relationship either. Only time can tell that for sure. I do know that I care a lot about you, that I am happy when I am with you, and that your happiness and protection are the most important things to me at the moment. Sookie, I would happily be yours, why can't you be mine?" His hand moved from my chin to my cheek and wiped the tears that were now falling away with his thumb.

I looked into his blue eyes and saw nothing but sincerity and concern in them. That was all I needed. I reached up and pulled his head down to mine. I crushed my lips against his passionately. Eric was gentle at first but then his movements became more urgent. He stretched out on the bed, pulling me down with him. He broke the kiss after a moment and I could see that his fangs had fully extended. The heat that rose in me at the sight was overwhelming.

"I want you, Sookie, but I will never force you. Do you want this? Will you be mine?" he whispered as he ran his lips across my jawbone.

I groaned with pleasure and need, "Yes, Eric. Please…I need you…now!" I brushed my hand deliberately across the massive bulge in his pants, squeezing gently.

He growled and before I could blink our clothes were gone. He started kissing down my body, but the need in me was too great. I fisted my hands roughly in his hair, "Please…Eric, there will be time to be gentle later. I need you in me now."

He made a sound half way between a moan and a growl and moved himself above me. His eyes met mine for a second in question as he positioned himself above me. I nodded once and he plunged deep inside of me with one hard thrust. I thought I was going to explode with pleasure right then, "Oh fuck, Eric."

He moaned deeply, "God, Sookie, you are so tight. I am not hurting you, am I?"

"No, you feel so good. Oh God, Eric, fuck me…hard." I dug my nails into his bottom, pulling him deeper into me.

He growled and started moving inside of me. His pace was slow at first, but he quickly picked up pace, thrusting into me deeply and quickly. It was right on that line between pain and pleasure. It was absolutely amazing. Just as I thought I was going to explode, he sunk his fangs in my neck, pushing me over the edge with his own completion following right after.

He went limp above me, licking lazily at the wound on my neck, "Damn Sookie! That was amazing. I do not think I have ever experienced anything close to that before."

I chuckled quietly, "So you were right before then."

"Right about what?" he questioned.

"The first time we had sex you said it was the best you had ever had. I brushed it off since you could not actually remember any you had ever had at the time, but it was a great compliment anyway." I smiled against his shoulder.

He laughed, "Well, I definitely wasn't lying."

He slid off of me, lying next to me and pulling me to his chest. We lay quietly for a few minutes just being content in each other's presence. He was lazily running his fingers down my arm and would occasionally press his lips against my hair. I did not think I could ever be more content.

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_**A/N:** For now I am posting this as a one-shot. I am unsure if I will ever continue it, but I might one day. I just figured you all would enjoy this little snippet. Thanks!_


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